Learning to be Realistic

Bill Gates caused an uproar at a College Prize Giving when his first words to the students and parents were, “Life is not fair – get used to it.” He followed this up by telling the students that the world doesn’t care about their self esteem, however people will expect them to have achieved something significant in their lives before they should start to feel good about themselves.

These were blunt, honest words from a man concerned that in this growing politically - correct world, we often forget to teach the students entrusted to us how to realistically assess their own abilities and progress, a critical requirement for getting better at anything from maths tasks to music to sport, in fact all of life’s skills and learning.

Our research on boys’ education shows that one of the characteristic of boys learning is that they over-estimate their ability and under-estimate the amount of effort that is required to reach this.

How often have you received a reply from a teenage boy when you ask them if they have their work under control and the answer is, “ Yeah sweet, all under control.” We all sincerely hope that it is under control, but it helps if we try and unwrap this answer and ask our young men for some further explanation on how they are planning to tackle their work. Our staff have been preparing our students for Exams and Assessments and providing clear and simple strategies for their preparation. A clear, simple written learning plan can go a long way to help achieve great results.

How can we help our Lasallian Students learn to be realistic in their preparations?

One of the greatest attributes that the Founder of the Lasallian Order, John Baptist de La Salle said that his teachers must develop was the ability to “know” their students, their backgrounds, their styles of learning, their stories, while also ensuring that the students felt that their teachers had a genuine concern for them. This is something achieved at De La Salle Mangere through our strong Homeroom programme and pastoral support. This knowledge and concern for students enables a sense of trust and confidence between staff and our boys allowing staff to be honest in letting our boys know what it is they need help with and how they can fix it. Once this “right relationship” has been achieved the task of learning to be realistic can be tackled.

Our staff are committed to providing learning feedback to our young men that is frequent, accurate, honest and specific. Staff have shared this information with boys and their families in Academic Counselling and in the soon to be sent Academic Reports, the appropriate forum for these honest learning conversations with their subject teachers and parents.

There is also a growing culture of, “I am special”, among young people of today, fostered by the dumbing down of competition and the increase of “participation” awards for fear of upsetting youth who do not come first or feel left out. This is completely opposite to Bill Gates’ statement that I mentioned above. We all know and certainly pass onto our young men that “Success requires preparation and hard work.”

No not every one can come first, there is always one winner, the satisfaction is often in the competing and pushing yourself to achieve your personal best and this is what should motivate our young men. De La Salle College has a responsibility to prepare our young men for an ever- increasing competitive tertiary education and workforce. We have to make it very clear to our young men in plain, honest language what they must do to compete as learners and provide them with a quality education to be successful. We are doing this in our teaching and in the Pastoral Care framework so that our young men won’t need anyone to tell them that they are special. The will know that they are, or at least know exactly what it is they have to learn and achieve to get that way.

​​​​(Author: Myles Hogarty, Principal, De La Salle Mangere East)